Dinner and a Movie

Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash

When my three children were younger we started a tradition of cooking dinner and screening a classic movie. At least what I considered classic, as the chef, cinephile, and Dad. At its heart, it was really just an excuse for us to be together, share a meal, and bond over a fun evening.

The movies were varied, mostly stuff from the 60’s and 70’s, Lawrence of Arabia, The Godfather, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. But also later films like Saving Private Ryan and ET. The Extra Terrestrial. And all the anime of Hayao Miyazaki.

It could be a mixed bag, depending. One night my youngest had a sleepover and we watched Night of the Living Dead. I found children hiding behind furniture, under the beds, and one had climbed to the top of a large bookcase, to get out of reach of the zombies. Convinced I might have permanently damaged my son’s friends, I called all the parents the next day with a heads up and apology.

All this continued into their teenage years, when drivers licenses, and newfound mobility began to curtail our screenings. Everyone had other plans on the weekends and, as Kurt Vonegut says, so it goes… 

These memories came back to me recently when, over college break, we all came together for dinner and watched Terrence Malick’s excellent Badlands, from 1973. And then another night I couldn’t believe they hadn’t seen Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven, 1992 Best Picture winner, and maybe the greatest Western of all time. That both of these films still transfixed us, was a testament to the enduring power of movies. And for everyone to put away their phones for two hours is pretty much unheard of these days and times. Of course, maybe they were just indulging me. One more time for Dad, that sort of thing. But I don’t think so.

I still look at great films as art and entertainment, a winning combination. And watching them together with my kids has added another element. Love, and how we communicate that love. So much of the unconditional love we’ve experienced in life has been the love our parents gave to us, and we in turn pass on to our children. Unconditional love can be a hard thing to find outside of family. It feels so risky. Emotionally dangerous. To put our feelings out there with no expectation of anything in return.

But last night I was watching an episode of Independent Lens on PBS, and scientists, after studying human behavior, hooking electrodes to brains, searching for a soul, searching for God…came to one conclusion. That it is our giving and receiving unconditional love that expands our consciousness and brings us closer to God who, at His essence, is unconditional love personified. And that He is not only found at the destination, but along the journey as well. 

I know there must be a movie that expresses this better than I do.